For over a year, Steve and I have been trying to get pregnant. One year, in the grand scheme of life, isn’t very long. But for me, this year of waiting and hoping has felt like eons.
I do not enjoy waiting, and I really do not enjoy not being in control. But that is what this year has been about – anticipation, longing, and an exercise in patience.
As I wait, I am learning several things. I am learning that a lot of life is about waiting, such as this Advent season that we just entered. I am learning that waiting produces maturity of character (something that I really do want, even though it can be an exasperating process). I am learning how to enjoy and be content with the present, even when something I want is not yet the reality. For now, we get to be a family of three, with all our parental love devoted to our one child. I am learning how to let go of my plans, and submit to the truth that very few things are within my power to control.
We believe that we will have another baby at some point. When that time comes, there will be a joyous celebration. But until then, here I sit, learning to embrace the waiting.