Whew! I’ve had a whirlwind week, and am just starting to recover from it. Beyond my standard schedule, this week was filled to the brim with other things, such as hosting out-of-town guests, attending business meetings, and participating in several special events. By Sunday morning, I was barely able to crawl out of bed.
Recently, I ran into an old friend, and we engaged in a typical “What’s new with you?” conversation. I went through my list of activities, from college ministry, to raising my 16-month-old, to starting my Frayed Apron business, to fixing healthy and homemade meals for our family, to blogging, to all my other miscellaneous hobbies. The friend asked incredulously, “Do you even sleep?” That question made me pause.
Normally, I feel like my life is manageable. There are moments like this week, however, which cause me to reconsider that reality. Am I doing too much? I’m not quite sure. Most of my life is made up of wonderful, life-giving things that I truly enjoy. But maybe that’s the problem – I enjoy so many things, and don’t know how to actually stop and rest. Take tonight, for example. After a long, tiring day filled with errands and appointments, instead of relaxing in the evening like others might do, I bustled around the kitchen for two hours making strawberry jam. Not because we are in dire need of jam, mind you. I did it because it sounded like fun. Who does that?
One of the most challenging tasks for me these days is simply sitting still. Even during the “down time” like on my days off, or at night before falling asleep, my mind is continually ticking off all the things I need to do or want to do. I think I need to learn how to just be. To be silent and still, allowing quiet and calm to soak into my entire being. Now doesn’t that sound lovely?
Okay, I’m ending this post right now to do just that. Just be. I’m thinking I’ll go and just be with a book, a glass of red wine and some toast with strawberry jam.