I wanted to be healthier, and to make better choices regarding exercise and food. And yes, I wanted to lose weight.
To be honest, it took me a while to admit that desire to myself (and others). Somehow, wanting to lose weight sounded shallow and misguided. “I don’t care about losing weight…what I really want is to just be healthy,” I told myself. This was a half truth. While I really did desire to be healthy, I also wanted to simply shed some of the pounds.
When I finally admitted this to myself, it was liberating. I realized that a lot of my self-perception was consumed by thoughts of my weight, that I had never truly liked my body since high school, and that I was tired of it. I was tired of sucking in my stomach every second of the day. I was tired of feeling self-conscious in the majority of my clothes. I was tired of looking at photos of myself, and only being able to see the fat.
And now, over the last year, much of that has changed.
I realize that many other people have lost unbelievable amounts of weight, and might scoff at a moderately overweight person rejoicing over losing a mere 20 pounds. I also believe that there is a danger in becoming preoccupied with one’s body image.
But personally, I feel that the new me is something worth celebrating.
The bottom line is that I feel tremendously more healthy than I ever have before. For the first time in my life, I am taking responsibility for my body’s condition. I am satisfied with the amount of physical activity I am doing, and with the self-control I now have with food. I am comfortable in my body. And yes, I am glad to see those 20 pounds go.